


Worth a thousand words

by Maisie_top_trash



Series: Unseen - Fear Will Lose [11]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, F/M, Grief, Hallucinations, M/M, Mental Illness, OCD, Photography, Recovery, Schizoaffective Disorder, mental health, widower
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 04:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8357440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maisie_top_trash/pseuds/Maisie_top_trash
Summary: Unseen Fear Will Lose is a series of single chapter stories showing unseen scenes from the same universe as my main story, Fear Will Lose. In order to fully enjoy these extra bits, I recommend you go and read that first.Fear Will Lose Tyler's dealt with his fair share of problems, but now aged 43 his issues are more like those of your average family. Almost.





	

"Yo Pop, you home?" Tyler heard William call out as the front door opened then shut.  
"Kitchen!" Tyler said back, and a few seconds later the teenager entered the room and immediately raided the fridge.

"How was school?"  
"Eugh," William just scoffed as he began taking out the ingredients for a sandwich.  
"You remember to hand in your photography portfolio?"  
"Yep, and Mrs B practically creamed herself,"  
"Will," Tyler warned sternly.  
"Popop," he grinned back.  
"I used to call my grandad that," Tyler remembered fondly.  
"Fitting then, considering you're ancient."  
"I'm 43! I'm not old!"  
"Try telling your hairline that," the 15 year old smirked.  
"You're lucky your sister's in the house, because otherwise I'd batter you for that."  
"Like to see you try and catch me, old man."  
"I may be 43 but I still run rings around you on the court," Tyler shot back.

"But Mrs Billiard liked your photographs?"  
"Yeah, she said they're inspired, provoking, and unlike any insight into mental health she has ever seen before," William answered, taking a bite of the disgusting-looking sandwich he had created.  
"Good, I agree, you did an amazing job kid; proud of you."  
"Thank you, and thanks for all your help."  
"Was a pleasure, happy to help any time."

"Actually, about that,"  
"Go on, what is it?" Tyler smiled.  
"Well there's 2, actually 3, things. Firstly, is it alright if I enter the photos into this national young photographer competition thing? Mrs B recommended I did. I know I won't win, but eh, worth a shot."  
"Absolutely, that sounds awesome. I genuinely think you could be contention for the top spot, so of course your dad and I will support that however you need us to. Oh and nice pun there by the way,"  
"Huh?"  
"You said shot, like shot as in photograph,"  
"Eughh, such a cliche dad," William groaned.  
"Don't you want more stuff from me? Aren't you supposed to butter me up?"  
"I mean, oh Pop! That's so funny! And also clever, you're such a genius. Plus I also meant shot as in basketball because basketball is so so great and so much better than photography, and isn't it great how much we have in common and how great all this bonding time is." William dead panned sarcastically.  
"That's the sort of worshipping I deserve." Tyler smiled,

"Alright what else?"  
"K, so um, girls, what do you know about them?"  
"What's a girl?" Tyler asked, faking innocence.  
"Seriously though, there's sorta this girl I wanna ask out but I don't know how,"  
"So you thought you'd ask me for advice?" Tyler laughed. "As flattered as I am, isn't this more your dad's department?"  
"He's gay too,"  
"Well obviously, but he has got some experience with girls, I mean he did make you with one."  
"Yeah but, urgh, I dunno, he'd turn it into a massive deal, like some sorta milestone or something,"  
"That is true," Tyler nodded.

"So go on then, tell me about this stinky girl."  
"Pop she's gorgeous, like drop dead gorgeous, and uh, funny, and cute. She's basically perfect."  
"Name?"  
"Annika," William said, then they both heard a laugh from the room next door.

"Isabel! Get in here!" Tyler called out, and the young girl appeared from behind the door, smiling guiltily. She held her hands behind her dress and twisted side to side on one foot as she giggled.  
"Shut up," William told her.  
"Hey! I'm only 10! You can't tell me to shut up," Isabel acted innocent, despite everyone knowing that she could take a lot worse than that.

"Oi you, why are you laughing at your brother?" Tyler asked, reaching out and pulling her onto his lap, scooping up her long black ringlets.  
"Because Annika is a senior!"  
"So?!" William retorted.  
"And she's the cheer captain," Isabel told Tyler.  
"Aim high Will, that's what I say," Tyler winked at his son.  
"But Annika doesn't even like William,"  
"Well how does Isabel like going back to the orphanage?" Will muttered.  
"You two, rein it in." Tyler smiled, still playing with his daughter's hair.

"Issy, you're a girl, tell Will how to make Annika be his girlfriend."  
"You're a girl too Papa," Isabel told Tyler.  
"Me? Why am I girl?"  
"Because Daddy likes football and doing the gym and shouting at the telly, and you like music and doing my hair and painting our nails,"  
"That is true," Tyler smiled, holding up his blue nails. "Oh Auntie Maddy said we can go to the salon tomorrow after gymnastics tomorrow,"  
"Wow, breaking them stereotypes Pop," William chimed in, demolishing the last mouthful of his sandwich.  
"Don't knock it till you've tried it," Tyler smiled.

"Isabel, help your brother out here, come on. What makes a girl love a boy?"  
"I don't know! I'm only 10!"  
"Issy, remember that boy who loved you from the care home, did you tell Papa what you told me he used to do?" William prompted.  
"Joe? He always buyed-"  
"Bought," Tyler corrected.  
"Bought me sweeties from his money," she smiled proudly.  
"Oh that was friendly of him,"  
"But he always wanted to be my boyfriend and I said no because I don't like him,"  
"Good, because you're my little princess. If any boy buys you any sweeties or wants to be your boyfriend then you tell me and I'll tell him to go away."  
"I like sweeties though, so I will take them AND tell him to go away," she giggled, making William and Tyler laugh too.  
"There we go Will, we cracked it. Everyone loves sweets, just give Annika some Skittles and that ought to do the trick," Tyler winked at the teenager, but before he could answer, the front door opened.

"Dad's home! And I brought pizza!" Todd called.

 

 

Later that evening, Tyler left Todd asleep on the couch downstairs at 9pm and climbed up to Isabel's room. He didn't knock because he knew it would wake his younger child, so he just pushed the door open. Her pink nightlight was on and Tyler immediately saw William sat in his usual place on the floor next to his adopted sister's bed. Tyler smiled at the sight, always happy that Will liked to stay close to her until she was definitely asleep.

"Will, can we talk?" Tyler whispered, and Will nodded then stood up. He kissed Isabel on her sleeping forehead, then flicked off the pink light and followed Tyler out of her room and into his.

Tyler always found William's room fascinating, and took a moment to look around as he sat on the edge of the double bed whilst William plugged his phone in to charge.

Every wall was covered from ceiling to floor in horizontal rows of strings, spaced 10 cm apart. On each there were hundreds of Will's own photos attached by pegs. Tyler smiled as he recognised some of the photos from a recent photoshoot they had done in the woods.

"Whatcha wanna talk about?" William asked as he sat in the office chair and swivelled to face Tyler.  
Behind him was a large desk covered in several different cameras and lenses, most of which Tyler had no idea what they did, and a large computer screen for editing.  
"I just wanted to finish the conversation we started earlier, but finish it seriously,"  
"Right,"  
"I signed those forms for the competition, and they're downstairs on the table."  
"Thank you,"

"And about Annika-"  
"Pop forget it, she's too good for me," William sighed.  
"Hey I don't wanna hear you say that again,"  
"S'true, every guy in the school is after her, why would she pick me?"  
"Because you're not like every other guy Will. Any girl would be lucky to have you,"  
"All parents say that,"  
"Well I just so happen to be right."

"Forget it Pop, it's just a stupid crush. We both know that I'll never pluck up the courage to speak to her, let alone ask her out,"  
"Come on, you're the bravest kid I know."  
"All I did was call Kelly when you were sick 3 years ago, you need to let it go,"  
"What other 12 year old looks after his hallucinating dad like that? But it's not just that Will, everything you do you do with courage, and you inspire me everyday. Honestly, the creativity and dedication that goes into your photography is a constant reminder to me of what you can achieve when you put your heart into something. I'm so proud of you and all the breathtaking artwork you've produced, and I'm so thankful that you asked for my input on the last project. This Annika girl, if she got to know you then she'd love you. And if she doesn't? She's not the kind of person I want dating my son. If you genuinely want to pursue a relationship with her then of course I'll be here to offer what support I can,"  
"Thank you Pop," William genuinely smiled.

"What was the third thing?"  
"Huh?"  
"Earlier, you said there was a third thing," Tyler reminded him.  
"Yeah, uh nah, never mind, forget it."  
"Come on, tell Papa Ty,"  
"S'just a little concept I've been working on, but I think I've decided it's not worth it."  
"Another photography project? School or pleasure?"  
"Pleasure, if you put it that way,"  
"Tell me,"  
"I uh, okay, it's just an idea and you're totally entitled to say no, like I understand," William began, spinning in his chair to face the computer screen again and beginning to look through his files.

Tyler watched as he found the title for the recent mental health collection they had created together, then opened the file to display the first photograph full screen.

Tyler looked at the photo of himself, neck and hands coated in thick black paint as he stared straight into the camera with eyes perfectly edited red.

As William hastily skipped through two dozen photos, the images flashed up too quickly for Tyler to fully acknowledge them. But finally he slowed down and Tyler recognised the photo of himself screaming wth his T-shirt over his face.

William clicked next one more time, then moved his hand off the mouse.

The photo he had stopped on was one that Tyler hadn't seen since he had edited it, and Tyler genuinely felt shocked at the end result.

The landscape photograph majority showed a forest of dark uniformed trees, but the main attraction was a slightly off-centre treehouse. Tyler was sat on the far left edge of the decking, feet dangling, and he looked both terrified and oblivious to the raging flames burning the treehouse behind him.

"William that's perfect," Tyler whispered in awe.  
"Well I mean it's your song lyric, your idea, I just messed about with it a bit," he replied modestly.  
"Could you print that for me?"  
"You want a copy?" William smiled.  
"Absolutely love one, honestly," Tyler nodded.  
"Uh yeah, I'll do that for you,"

"Thank you. And about this new concept you've got, is it a forest collection or something? Because I've got loads more forest/trees lyrics you can look at."  
"Actually, it's uh, it's called For Josh."  
"Oh," Tyler said, a little taken aback.  
"It's a grief collection basically - sorry, are you okay?"  
"Uh yeah, tell me more?"  
"Sure?"  
"William I promise I'm in a good place at the moment and I'll let you know if that shifts, but for now will you please talk me through your concept?"

"Right okay, so uh, I was looking at this photo," the teenager began, pointing at the burning treehouse, "and it reminded me of this other photo I used in my Youth's World portfolio as an artist's reference like 2 years ago,"  
"Yeah,"  
"Basically it's the same sort of set up, minus the fire, except rather than you sat on the decking, there's two little kids. They're best friends and they're looking at each other and smiling, not a care in the world."  
"Yeah,"  
"I was just looking at that photo and this one, and there's something missing right. There's obviously space for another person, but they're not there. It's just this emptiness, and that's where For Josh stemmed from." William explained, then opened up the window of his graphics software.

Tyler watched again as he sifted through the hundreds of files until he found the one he was after.

A pretty vague but yet still impressive digital sketch filled the screen. In scratchy black lines it showed the view of a bench on the top of a hill from behind, and on the right hand side there was an outline of a man. The man sat alone, and his head turned to the left, looking at the space as though he was making eye contact with someone.

"I've drawn out 7 concepts I think, 7 or 8, but I'd like to do a whole load more, 24 maybe? But yeah, they're situations where you can tell there's something missing. If you don't mind then I'd love for that missing piece to be Josh, but if you don't want that then I'll redraft them to another scenario,"  
"No no don't do that, you can do it for him, of course you can,"  
"Thank you, and if you change your mind at any point then tell me."  
"I won't. Honestly William, this means a lot to me, thank you." Tyler nodded slowly, mind racing.  
"If you're sure. And don't worry, I won't make you model or anythi-"  
"Will," Tyler interrupted.  
"Yeah?"  
"I want to show you something, is that okay?"  
"Yeah of course," William nodded, and Tyler stood up. "You want me to follow?"  
"Yeh,"

Tyler walked out of William's room and across the corridor to his own.  
"Sit there a sec," he gestured towards his and Todd's bed, and his son obeyed. Tyler then turned his back to the bed and opened the wardrobe, crouching to the floor. He didn't have to move anything off the large box he was looking for because he regularly opened it. Gaining access to the box was quick, but finding the journal he desired took a long minute. However eventually he made contact with the red leather cover of the one he was after, and sat next to William again.

"When I was 16, only a couple of months older than you, I was miserable. It was before my psychotic break, before I met Josh, before any sort of diagnosis, before any of that. I was just a miserable kid, a miserable kid with a hell of a lot of thoughts. And that was when I first picked up a journal for the first time. This was my first, it took me about 8 months to fill and I thought it was super lame but I did it anyway; I could never motivate myself to write in it every single day, but nevertheless I slowly worked through it. Since then, I've never been without one."  
"Yeah," William listened.  
"Reds are my journals and blacks are my poems."  
"Okay,"  
"And because I'm a hoarder, I've kept every single one I've ever written." Tyler explained softly.  
"Right,"  
"Don't worry, I see your frightened face, I'm not going to force you to start writing one too," Tyler smiled, looking at William rather than the spine like he had been doing.  
"Pheww,"

"No the reason I'm telling you this is because I want you to have them Will,"  
"Wow,"  
"Nobody has ever read them. Not my therapist, not my parents, not Josh. No one except me, until today,"  
"Pop," Will whispered.  
"Now I understand there's almost double your life's worth of diaries in that box, and I'm not expecting you to read every page. All I'm proposing it that you use them for inspiration. I'll help you find some exerts that might help you with For Josh; we can find things I wrote when he was still with us so that you can get to know him a bit better, and then when I initially found out, and from throughout my grieving period. Might be able to find some letters I wrote to him, and hey if you're lucky then you might find what I've written about you." Tyler smiled but felt himself get a little emotional.  
"Wow. Pop, I-I wasn't expecting this, really, urgh, I, can I hug you?" William stumbled over his words with a big grin.  
"Get over here you soppy git," Tyler told him, holding out an arm and wrapping it around him. "You're a clever kid, I think you know this, these, they mean a lot to me. They're my most personal thoughts, and I'm trusting you."  
"I know, and truly I'm honoured, thank you,"  
"They're a little part of me, but they also contain a little part of Josh too. Use that, channel that, do what you do best and absolutely knock this project out of the ballpark."  
"I'll do it Pop, I'll do my absolute best and I'll make sure to do Josh justice."

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry the updates have been slow but my mental health has been making things difficult for me... Thanks...
> 
> Anyway, please be patient whilst I deal with this blip and continue to read my lil fics xxx


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